Bringing Norman (the bull) home…

Oh my gosh, what an experience!

I was up at 4am and out to milk by 5. Ready to leave by 6:20 as planned. Ok, so I didn’t actually get out of the house til 6:25am. I picked up my new friend Raychl in Colfax just a hair before 7am as planned and we headed to Spokane where we were meeting the man with the bull. He also had about an hour and a half to travel.

Raychl and I had a nice visit on the way and while we didn’t solve the world’s problems, we did attempt. I’m driving and already knowing (or at least thinking) that I’m mostly crazy for bringing a bull to our property. But I want this dang cow bred! As life would have it (I don’t really believe in “luck”, or I’d type luck) Miss Moo cycled yesterday morning. The owner of the bull wasn’t able to meet me yesterday, so I’m hoping I’m wrong (though I’m pretty sure I’m not). Raychl, along with my husband and another friend who actually knows cattle and has her own herd think it’s a great idea to not just lease the bull, but to buy him. Jeff says it’s a great business and is looking forward to the write offs. Jessica, my cattle guru friend, has her own milk cow and wants Norman’s stud services. Raychl has an entrepreneural spirit. I have that same spirit, but mind you I also live on just 2.5 acres and I’m the one who has to mess with the bull. A real live, breathing bull. I’m 7 months pregnant and have two other little kids. Not sure this is the right timing. But I also know that God’s timing is perfect.

So we get to the meeting point five minutes before 8am, our agreed meeting time and Coleman, the owner is there. He is probably my age, not what I was expecting. For some reason I was expecting someone in their 50’s. I don’t know why. He unloads Norman, who stands just at my armpit like the cow, and he unloads easy. He loads right into my little two horse straight load trailer. Coleman ties his head on the divider with a blue lead rope. I mention there are horse ties in front (kind of hinting that that’s how I’d do things). Norman get his head through the divider, which stands about half his height. Coleman pushes him out and ties him tighter. Knowing that Coleman knows his bull better than I do, I let it go.

We shake hands, I give him the lease fee plus some for gas and I circle the trailer making sure everything is latched properly and securely (a hard lesson learned in the past). And we’re off. As soon as we turned on the highway the trailer starts “wiggling” and Raychl is concerned. I’ve hauled animals before and often when you start out they have to find their feet under them and get their balance, so I tell her not to worry. We’re down the road a ways (not quite a mile, probably) and Coleman calls my cell and says Norman had his head back in that divider and he was turning around to get him straightened out. What a gentleman…Coleman, not Norman, helping out two wanna be rancher women. πŸ™‚

We get out of thet pickup to check on Norman and I’m not kidding you, he is on the OTHER side of the divider. He’s on the other side of the trailer! He had jumped that smallish space while going 45-50 mph. This is when I really start to wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into. A little bull who jumps dividers at 50 mph. Holy blankety-blank. Coleman pulls up and looks a little shocked. We tie his head to a horse tie on the other side…ok, I tie it to his halter and shut the head door. Coleman suggests a hot wire on the fence but thinks that the woven wire fence with two strand barbed wire should be sufficient. His friend he brought along agrees. I’m seriously wondering what the hell I was ever thinking. Maybe I really should have sold my cow. Oh my gosh.

We go on down the road then after making sure again that all is secure. Norman seems happy to be on the other side and so off we go. I plan to check him about 10 miles down the road.

He’s moving around quite a bit in the trailer as we pull him up the hills and out of the “city”, but we know his head is tied, so he’s not going to attempt to jump or fly or whatever he did to manage getting on the other side of that little Circle J. I stop 10 miles up the road and we get out to look at him. That ding dong has his front knees up in the feeder area of the horse trailer and he won’t come down. We push on him a little and finally decide that he’s the idiot who got up there, there isn’t room enough for him to back and get back down and it probably isn’t smart to attempt to unload him and re load him on the side of the highway. Some folks drive by and ask if we need help. Raychl, in her bravery, says we’re ok. I’m thinking, “Not so sure on that one…” Anyway, like I said, he’ll just have to either figure out how to get down from there or stay there and deal with it. He’s not injured, nor will this injure him, so onward we go.

Coleman said if we had problems with him getting out of the fence to just shoot him. I was thinking, “I like your attitude.” Once I was back in the pickup I said to Raychl, “I should have brought my gun.” To which she casually responds, “I have mine.” Good, ok. So if we need to shoot him we can. Oddly, that brings some relief to my somewhat panicked heart. Again, what exactly was I thinking?

About 20 miles or so more down the road we stop again and check on Norman. He’s in the same position, but we are little assistance to him. I know once we get home he’ll be able to back out and get his legs back down.

I drop Raychl off at her house and continue on toward mine. All the while I’m humming a worship song and thinking I’m pretty much crazy. Who on earth brings a bull on to their tiny little property? Apparently, I’m not the only one. Coleman and his wife got the bull as a weanling and raised him to breed their cow. Then they pimped him out to some homesteader type folks (I don’t know, but calling myself a farmer seems like such a disgrace to actual farmers right now) who have milk cows. My husband, Jeff, thinks we could do this as well. Raychl and Jessica are on board. Of course they are! They don’t have to keep the bull! πŸ˜‰

Once home, Jeff is there with the electrician who is rewiring the service panel to the shop and some other things and he opens the gate for me. I pull in the pasture (mind you, this pasture is about an acre big, maybe an acre and a half…) and explain to Jeff the plan. I’ll unclip the tie from his halter, then we’ll open the back of the trailer and let him come out on his own. I caution my husband that he might “blow out of there.” So we get out of the way. He comes out just fine and starts exploring his surroundings.

He’s actually a nice bull. Curious. Maybe a bit too curious because I don’t like any of my animals eating out of my pockets! They’re not pets, they are honest-to-goodness large animals that have the potential to hurt someone, whether they mean to or not. I don’t feed treats to any of my animals for this reason. They are to respect my space. I have my horse trained to keep her rear out of my space. Coleman said to pop Norman on the nose if he got too close. He also told me he doesn’t allow his wife in with the bull. Oh nice. It’s kind of a one man show here…a one pregnant woman show.

Of course Norman lost his halter right away when he arrived. He sniffed my cow and they sniffed rears for a while. She was acting real receptive to him, but I do think she is past her cycle now and we’ll have to wait another 2-3 weeks for her next cycle.

So…strangest thing I’ve ever witnessed. The kids and I are out walking around the outside of the pasture seeing if we can eye the halter Norman lost and we get around where he is feeding out of the bunk and suddenly he squats. I mean squats like a human going to take a poo in the wild. His manhood (bullhood?) comes out and something comes shooting out of it. A small amount, albeit, but something. I have never EVER seen a bull do this before (and I have been around bulls before, people). I don’t know if he had to relieve some stress or what, but I was kind of thinking, “Hey, you’re supposed to do that while mounted on my cow!” Odd. Thankfully the kids didn’t ask any questions on that one. Although, Creighton my 20 month old kept pointing and saying “bull!”

I kept shaking my head and rolling my eyes at myself. “Bull. Yep. Oh my gosh. What was I thinking? Have I gone mad? I must have “pregnant brain”. Well, crud, I have to get this cow bred somehow! I can’t believe she cycled early. Of course. A bull, Gretchen? Seriously?”

I saw no action between cow and bull the rest of the day.

Now Sunday morning Jeff gets up to go out and milk with me. This is so sweet, the man who stays in bed on the weekends while I go do my chores at 5am. I told him he needed to be up at 5:30am (old time would have been 4:30am and then I could get her into a routine by tomorrow). I forgot to mention (pardon the language), “Ass out the door at 5:35am.” I’m getting the milk bucket ready and the warm soapy water to wash her udder and I hear the shower come on. What the heck? Is he seriously taking a shower to go milk? Yep. At 5:55 we finally make it out the door. All the way I’m shaking my head. I am STILL shaking my head! It’s like when our first born was an infant and woke up in the night. First hubby had to pee, then get a drink of water and then take a chew and make the bottle. I finally got to the point where I’d just get up, feed the kid and go back to bed. Good heavens!

Anyway, it was nice having him out there “protecting me” from a bull we were unsure of. Of course Norman was excited to see us (he’s really friendly…better than aggressive, but I like them to keep their space from me). I went in the barn, plugged in my makeshift light and waited for the cow to come. She didn’t. Of course. I had to go find her in the other (pole) barn. In she came and again, of course, as she was coming in the barn to be milked, Norman decided that would be a good time to mount her. He was all stirred up-he doesn’t know the routine. Jeff made sure he didn’t come in and I started milking the cow (after hooking her to her lead and washing her udder). Norman’s outside pitching a fit. “Where’d my girl go?” Moo…Ma, Ma Moo! Whatever. He also settled in a bit.

By the time I was finished milking the sun was starting to come up over the horizon. You folks who don’t get up early miss so many beautiful mornings! I told Jeff my normal routine: Leave the cow tied, let the calf out, feed the horse her grain and then lock her in the other barn. Then I explained it should be different today. I was half expecting the horse to balk at the new animal and not do what she normally does, but she surprised me and went in the barn just fine. Norman and the calf stayed in the pasture and I got some alfalfa for them. Norman was all wound up and as he got close to me I tapped him firmly on the nose as a warning to stay away. He earned some of my trust by backing…numerous times. And may I mention…some of my trust. With everyone fed and in their proper places, Jeff and I headed to the house. I think I’ll be able to do this routine by myself tomorrow. I’ll have to!

Meanwhile, Jeff goes back to bed, wakes up, takes another shower and then our normal Sunday begins. Kids up, breakfast, get ready for church and leave. On the way home from church Jeff says, “I have a whole new appreciation for the milk I drink.” I just said, “Good,” with a smile on my face.

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2 thoughts on “Bringing Norman (the bull) home…

  1. This is a story that needs to be published. I was laughing, crying and concerned for you, the cow, the bull and Jeff all at the same time. As a girl, reared in town, I never knew!! I’m glad I asked for more detail, you are amazing!

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