Here I go again. (2009, 2010)

My husband reminded me of the comment I said a few years back, “If I could just get one…” Meaning, child.  I had one and he was flabbergasted that I was not “happy” with one.  Oh, I was happy! I just wanted more!  And you know by now we were 32…2 years past that magical 30 where our fertility declines but we should try more treatments.

In September 2009 we entered fertility treatments again.  This time with ultrasound monitoring and some high powered drugs.

For the first two cycles (or was it three?) I took Femara, a breast cancer drug that cuts estrogen.  I made four follicles fairly consistently.  We had the post-coital test and Dr. O decided we should do IUI (Intrauterine Insemination).  So we did.  Once again, my husband entered the chambers of a sterile bathroom to deposit his donation.  It was “spun” and “separated” and then inseminated.  Two days in a row each month.  I was encouraged even though I didn’t become pregnant because for all I knew, I’d never made eggs before!  This was progress!

The next two cycles I used injectibles, but I’m not sure the names.  Pricey, but our Flex Spending Account covered them.  Our insurance covered the Femara at 50% and all the ultrasounds, just not the AI procedure and “sperm washing”.  I was still making follicles (potential eggs) but no pregnancy.

I had the HSG done the end of November, where they shoot the dye up your uterus into your tubes to see if they are open or shut.  My right one was definitely open, but my left looked blocked.  Dr. O said not to worry, he often sees eggs from the left go to the right.  I think he was just trying ot make me feel better.

We had done four cycles and had a trip planned back to Nebraska for Christmas so we took a break, but they encouraged us to keep testing for ovulation.  I did and the day after Christmas I got a positive and so we DTD (did the deed) and then I felt ovulation.  I tested two weeks later and was pregnant.  I made my appointment and then started cramping and bleeding.

I miscarried just before I could say I was 5 weeks along.  So sad.  But encouraging, too.  I was getting tired of treatments at this point, but this gave me hope.  I really didn’t feel like I should continue to spend much more money.  We intially said we’d try 3 times.  Well, we were now up to four.

We took another month off.  It was a clean miscarriage, so no surgery needed.  Then I started the big girl shots.  I gave myself a shot in the belly every day at noon for 5 days, went for ultrasounds 3-4 times in the first two weeks of the cycle then they gave me HCG in the rear to stimulate ovulation (since I had conceived on my own we didn’t need to do AI/IUI).  Try #5-no pregnancy

Try #6.  Same regimen.  No pregnancy.

Try #7.  Same regiment except I added soy isoflavones.  PEOPLE, DO NOT DO THIS!  I had unexplained bleeding mid cycle, the follicle sucked back in and I ended up in surgery to figure it all out.  Nothing was figured out except that I had polycystic ovaries and a blocked left tube.  And recovery was harder than I was told.  I was sick, sick, sick from anaesthetic and sore, sore, sore from the gas injected in my belly.

I got scared.  I knew I had to stop dreaming for a baby and could not go on this way any more.  I needed a break…again.  I needed to stop.  I needed to get on with life.  I needed to get healthy.  I needed to be off synthetic hormones for good.

And that’s what I did.  I got healthy.  I started with Master your Metabolism by Jillian Michaels and started chucking things out of my cupboards and eating more fruits and veggies.  I followed up with 12 Steps to Raw Foods by Victoria Boutenko for some new ideas on how to eat veggies and fruits.

I started the Insulite Program for PCOS, a regimen of natural supplements and herbs targeted to women with PCOS and I read everything I could get my hands on about alternative treatments.  In my mind I was too old for “the pill” and I just wanted to get healthy.

We enrolled in the State of Oregon foster/adopt training with the goal of adopting a sibling group.  This was the end of June 2009.


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